My blog can now be found at http://cassiev10.blogspot.com
Sometimes. every. once. and. a. while. I let the drama of views and stats overtake my world.
I started this blog for me. When I started it, I told myself that I needed it to be about me in a real. personal way. I need this to be my journey. Real. personal. My journey giving up dairy. finding ways to nourish myself through wholesome food. finding movement that nourishes my body. Spirituality that nourishes my body. and my soul.
I follow a. lot. of social media giants. They admonish going big. or going home. I’ll be honest here. Most days, I want to go home.
My husband and I have worked hard for 10 years now so that he can support us both while I am a stay at home mom. This will allow me to love and nourish my family. Bliss. This will allow me to follow passions that I’ve never wanted to put on the market. reading. writing.
If I market my passion, my failure is soul crushing.
I am not prepared for that. I may never be.
On Super Soul Sunday, Mark Nepo said “If you love to write, write. You don’t have to be a writer.” This set me free.
My success can be my bliss. my joy. my freedom of doing something I love.
Do I have to make advertising dollars on my blog to be successful? No, and it’s good to remind myself of this. Today it. is. necessary to remind myself of. this.
Do I have to be a published author to be a successful writer? No, I find joy in writing.
I’m going to listen to my gut. I’m going to discard those that demand I find financial solvency in my passions, because I instantly feel anxious, pressured, and walk away from what’s real. what’s personal.
This is what I’m struggling with today.
I’m grateful for the struggle. I’m grateful for the chance to air my laundry here. It brings me a little peace to put my thoughts into physical words. The physical world of words is beautiful to me. I can participate and be fulfilled, just the way I am.
Before I plan for a new week, I like to see how this week went.
Fitness For Real:
ü Monday: 12 minutes Erin Stutland HIIT Teaser Workout & 50 minutes yoga with Tara Stiles New York Sessions
ü Tuesday: 5 minutes Erin Stutland HIIT Intention & 45 minutes yoga with Tara Stiles This Is Yoga DVD 2 (mixed workouts)
ü Wednesday: 20 minutes Erin Stutland Cardio/HIIT mix Intention & 25 minutes yoga mixed Youtube videos with Erin Motz and Tara Stiles
ü Thursday: 45 minutes yoga with Kino McGregor Ashtanga Yoga DVD
ü Friday: OFF
ü Saturday: 50 minutes Erin Stutland Cardio/HIIT mix Allowing & 30 minutes yoga Youtube videos with Erin Motz and Tara Stiles
ü Sunday: 5 minutes Erin Stutland HIIT & 1 hour Tara Stiles This Is Yoga Strong
After reflection on that, here’s my plan for this week.
Yoga 30 minutes – 1 hour X 6
HIIT X 2
Cardio/HIIT sessions 20-50 minutes X 2
I am ready to dominate this week.
Get Christmas tree
Decorate for Christmas
Be kind through Finals
Feel blessed every single day: I am enough. I have enough.
Favorite Inspiration Quotes
“When we have arrived at the question, the answer is already near” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“You don’t need anyone telling you what to do. You have all the answers. Just get quiet and listen.” – Bex
I have been. obsessed. with Erin Stutland’s Shrink Sessions since Bex brought Erin into my sphere of consciousness several weeks ago. Shrink Sessions was a bit on the pricey side for me at $99. Then, last week she did the Say It, Sweat It, Get It Challenge. The challenge was aMAZing. Plus, she created a Facebook group for us Challengers, and connecting with those lovely members was also aMAZing.
At the end of the challenge, she made an offer I couldn’t refuse. She offered 4 45 minute Shrink Sessions. plus 3 20 minute Shrink Sessions coming to a platform near me soon. plus continued access to the 4 5 minute Shrink Sessions we did on the Challenge.
I couldn’t resist. While, at heart, I am relatively. okay majorly. frugal, I’m trying to find ways to embrace things into my life that nourish me and discard those things that don’t. And Erin nourishes me. So I blew my birthday money all in one place, but I couldn’t be happier about the purchase.
I am everything that I need. I have everything that I need.
Waking up to a snow day on Tuesday, my 30th birthday!
Friends. The show. I think I’ve watched 3-4 episodes every night this week on DVD.
Favorite Issue to Work On
Being Grateful. I am doing the daily Trisha Sutter twitter #favepartofday gratitude contribution. I’m still feeling a little bombarded and needy. Contributing to this are all the sales that crowd my email. The sales are awesome, but all this materialistic temptation is causing me angst that my financial situation does not allow me to buy whatever. whenever. I remind myself that I have everything that I need. This means I need a gratitude attitude adjustment. And the best way to accomplish this is a Gratitude List.
1. I am grateful for the 4 day work week I had this week.
2. I am grateful for Christmas break which will be a mere 2 hours from 1 week from today.
3. I am grateful for my hubbie who warms up my car every. single. morning for me. At least when it’s cold.
4. I am grateful for my hubbie who always wants the best for me. even when I don’t.
5. I am grateful for my hubbie’s gentle, kind advice.
6. I am grateful for my hubbie being receptive to requests I have.
7. I am grateful for time spent with family.
8. I am grateful for my momma’s gentle, straight forward advice. *Yes, I broke down yesterday to solicit advice in a situation that continues to grow and was boiling my tolerance temperature level yesterday.
9. I am grateful for the clothes that I have. I have sweaters that keep me warm. I have .CUTE. leggings for yoga and as under layering to keep me warm. I have pants that fit. I have outfits that are flattering. I am grateful for the clothes that I have.
10. I am grateful for my hair. As my obsession with my skin care reaches unreasonable proportions, I remember that I have found solutions to create shine, texture, and health for my hair that make me eternally grateful.
11. I am grateful for the reminder that patience will always get me where I need to be. It just might not get me there tomorrow. And that’s okay.
Joy and Abundance
Welcome in, old man winter. Take a seat, settle in, and wrap your frosty arms around our gently rolling hills, shake out a smattering of powdered snow, and chuckle warmly to yourself while I pile on 3. layers. of clothes every morning to protect myself from the drafty classroom where I spend my weekdays. And please, don’t be stingy with the weekly snow and ice accumulations. I really appreciated having Tuesday off (my birthday! what! what!), and I am always amiable. um desperately. begging. for more.
While I adjust to you, old man winter, I will be bringing my workouts indoors. I will be drinking much more coffee, tea, and hot chocolate. And by drinking, I mean clutching these steaming, hot mugs of smelling goodness in my icy fingers to keep my hands warm. I will be wearing socks at every moment. maybe 2 pairs of socks. maybe socks plus slippers (unless I am doing yoga = bad). I will be lighting candles every. single. night. This will stress my husband out to no end as he thinks I will accidentally burn the apartment down. I have never caught anything on fire. At least not from a candle. Wink. Wink. And I will be finding a different kind of bliss in snuggling in with old man winter.
I am really struggling with getting in the Christmas festivities mood this year. I am jolly and happy as can be. The idea, however, of picking out a Christmas tree (on the agenda for this weekend), decorating the apartment, and cooking Christmas cookies is just not slamming into me this year. I’m enjoying where I am in this moment. right now. And I’m struggling with moving on to Christmas. Maybe some Pinterest meanderings will help.
Nope, it did not work. I could not even find a picture of 1 decorated Christmas tree I liked. Maybe bringing some pine scented, loveliness into the apartment will jar me into the holiday spirit.
I am currently OBSESSED with my skin care regimen right now. In an effort to calm my mind, this is all I will write about this. Let’s move on to my next random thought.
I am a list maniac. I am currently working on a skin care list. I am currently making workout lists for every week (even though I’ve deviated pretty severely from this week’s plan). I made an electronic list this week from my workout plan, but I didn’t print it. I have one of those printers that won’t print unless ALL the ink is ready to go. And I’m out of Cian. Who needs Cian? Anyway, I didn’t print it. I didn’t copy it down somewhere physical. I’m just keeping a written tally of what I do each day. It’s not as good. Lists are my zen. Lists give me a comfort that allows me the ease of not over doing it, which I will. do. left to my own devices.
Other lists: Grocery and Meal Prep lists, Lesson Plans, and Wish Lists!
Today I am grateful.
Happy birthday and snow day to me! The universe sure has my back today! I can’t think of a better way to start my 30s than with a snow day. And then Erin Stutland showed up in my inbox with a workout deal I just couldn’t say no to. Plus, I’ve got some Kino McGregor Ashtanga yoga practice to get to that has me super excited. Could this day get any better? I think so. It seems to just be getting better and better every minute!
Today I wanted to write about a new practice I’m trying out. With the holidays (and lots of celebrations in general with my birthday and anniversary thrown in here), there’s a. lot. a. lot. (I thought it warranted repeating) of sticky emotional situations that arise.
I’ve already encountered two situations that had me hurt and emotional. Normally, my hurt self would chat it over with a few of my closest peeps that I know would say comforting and compassionate things to me.
My hubs is usually pretty helpful even if he’s always in fix it mode. I sometimes have to get through hurt to fix it. But when I’m ready to fix it, he’s the one I turn to.
My mom and mother in law are also awesome ears to bend for level headed, compassionate listening and advice. They’re always so patient and always have my back.
This time, I’ve handled things differently.
Working through the Erin Stutland Mini Challenge this past week has shown me how powerful voicing words can be. She takes this to the positive awesomeness level.
I wondered though, am I giving power to the negative things I voice too? Is the discussion. hmm. rant helping me accept and move on or is it just allowing myself to wallow in the situation? I’m not really a wallow-er, but I was still curious about this idea.
Instead of running to the nearest person that would listen to my hurt feelings last week, I prayed. mediated. call it what you will. I had a good sit down chat with me and my soul. I witnessed my feelings. I was hurt because I was comparing myself to others. I forgave myself for being hurt and for comparing myself to others. I allowed myself to release these feelings.
Did it work the first time? No.
I did this every. single. morning and every. single. night to start off my meditation for probably close to a week.
I also did not talk about my hurt to anyone. else. Just good ole me, because I suspected I might be able to handle it on my own.
Today I am no longer hurt by the event that occurred last week. I think it’s interesting that this Gabrielle Bernstein inspired practice does not require me to forgive the object of my hurt. I’m not sure I can yet. What it allows me to do is forgive myself for being hurt and releasing those negative feelings.
This way I can meet the person that hurt me with love, kindness, and patience even though I did not forgive them per se. Because the reality is that I don’t have to understand why they did it, I just have to allow myself to accept it and love them.
Now I get to start working on the next assignment.
I’m not. NOT. trying to suggest that chatting over a problem or grievance is BAD. I’m NOT. not.
To the purpose of release or advice, I think it can be great.
I tend to use grievances to the purpose of bonding or discussion, and that is something I am actively working on right now. I feel awkward in social situations, and I will normally pull anything. ANY. topic I can think of out of my hat to fill silences.
And several weeks ago I stumbled upon this old pin I’d saved:
And I was humbled.
This has become an active practice of mine with every single social encounter I have. I am trying to get it rotated into my morning meditation. prayers. To ask for guidance in verbally contributing only knowledge or beauty to the world.
I am also confidant that I am in a place in my life where I am very capable of dealing with these issues myself. I am not. NOT. bottling up these emotions and feelings. I am dealing with them in the most real. personal. way I’ve ever dealt with things.
In fact, I was surprised that I didn’t itch to spill the beans to someone. anyone. as time went on. Every day it actually became easier not to talk about it, because I was really dealing with it in an honest, kind way.
However, this is just what is working for me. Please take it for what it is and nothing more.
Today I am grateful for it all.
A Week of Eats
Monday: Spaghetti Inspired By Cooking Light
Tuesday: Moroccan Chicken with Potatoes and Sweet Potatoes
Wednesday: Black Bean Soup with Chorizo Inspired by Cooking Light
Friday: Lemon Roasted Chicken Thighs with broccoli and potatoes.
Saturday (not pictured): Lamb Gyros with Mint Pistachio Tabbouleh Inspired By Cooking Light
Sunday: Dinner with the Parents
Today I am grateful for good eats.